Gaolbird

Let me out you sick bastard!

Let me out you sick bastard!

Imprisoning parrots is a thing pretty much everywhere I’ve been. And I can totally understand why: you can teach them to swear. And having a pet that can tell people to fuck off is pretty damn cool if you ask me.

From the bird’s perspective, however, it’s a pretty fucked up arrangement. Sure, you might think your parrot loves you but let me tell you that parrots are incapable of love. They are vindictive, vengeful motherfuckers. I’ve still got the scar where my familys cockatoo took a chunk out of it when I was a kid. And he laughed at me afterwards. Laughed right at me. What a bastard. Anyway, the point is that if you think your parrot loves you it’s either got Stockholm syndrome or it’s luring you into a false sense of security so it can exact its evil vengeance. You have been warned.