Of all the things we can justifiably get angry with Americans for, things like ridiculously selfish foreign policy, economic hegemony and the Kardashians for example, the one that gets my proverbial goat the most has to be their wanton disregard for the English language. Specifically their complete inability to use adverbs. Phrases such as “That whole ‘Think Different’ campaign was real good” make me die a little on the inside. Every time I see an Apple advertisement I feel a compulsion to correct its terrible grammar and grade it accordingly. Iphone 5s advertisement: C-. Needs improvement.
Osmosis doesn’t allow the transfer of knowledge from books I’m told. I hypothesise that the thick skull of some people is interfering with the learning process. Logically, this must be true. Therefore, to solve this problem, I encourage all native English speakers to carry around a dictionary with which to beat some grammatical sense into every American you encounter. Right through the skull and deep into the brain. It’s the only way they’ll learn.